Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
