Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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