I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
