i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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