she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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