Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
