Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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