watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
