it was like his penis was on wheels.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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