At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
