Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize