I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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