It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
