Me. At least after what I've been through.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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