sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
