i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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