ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Never joke about your clitoris.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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