do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
