i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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