i don't like sucking hair
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
