My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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