chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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