Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
