maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
