hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
