I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
