this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
