I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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