I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm really busy with my period
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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