okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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