using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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