It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
