id be glad to
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
