miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i've created a new STD.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
