sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize