Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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