Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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