you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
