Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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