GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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