just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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