im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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