Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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