Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
