why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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