i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
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Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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