I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
