butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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