IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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