People in love make me want to vomit
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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