She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
