why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
