ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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