Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
