totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
