I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
