Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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