She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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