Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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