never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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