you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
