so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
