Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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