508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
