i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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