it hurts more in the daytime
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
